It’s Good To Talk: Can summer holidays be challenging?

Can summer holidays be challenging? Yes and here is why!
The change in routine or often lack of routine, the expectations we have of how summer “should” be and the pressures that comes with that can cause stress and anxiety.
For many there is increased anxiety around travel and time off from work, school or college. The expectations we have of ourselves and perceived good times the summer is “supposed” bring can come with added pressures, stressors and expectations. We are all much more time-poor so the importance of off-time or holidays is valued more regardless of whether that is experienced at home in our gardens or abroad in the sun.
This summer I am seeing an increase the number of people attending counselling in my practice - this could be down to several things but I believe the poor weather this year and in particular the summer weather could be contributing to the negative effect on people’s mood, producing similar feelings to winter blues but thankfully to a lesser extent.
I recently went on holidays and I worried about the kids travelling. I worried if I had everything packed for every eventuality, I worried about work. I worried about the pets missing us. You name it, I worried about it. I am sharing this because one of the things I pride myself on is “keeping it real”.

Summer can be a very joyous time with many precious memories

Everyone worries, I am no different!! Worries tend to be specific and there is a logical component to worry and it usually doesn’t impair function. Anxiety is more visceral in that we feel it through our bodies. Worry can trigger problem solving whereas anxiety does not. If we feed our worries by telling ourselves stories about “what ifs” and catastrophising then we may become anxious, which can trigger many physical symptoms such as pounding heart, sweating, palpitations etc. Anxiety and worry can often get confused as they can go hand-in-hand. People understand worry but are fearful of anxiety so understanding both can be helpful.
Summertime brings more opportunities for flying and for some people this is simply a means to an end, for others flying may not even be an option, such is the severity of the fear and anxiety that flying produces. Travel by flying is a personal choice but if you feel your flying anxiety is holding you back from something you want please seek help for this or any other thing that may be hampering your enjoyment in life.

Having a break

Holidays mean time off work and having a break needs to be just that, a “break” - so being clear and realistic about your workload before you go and when you return to work will be helpful. Having clear boundaries about emails and being contacted during this time is imperative for your recharge time and well-being.
Take your holidays as a holiday and that means work should be left at work. Thinking about work when you are away or off will take away from your enjoyment and your ability to be present and savour the break. I cannot emphasize enough that if choose to holiday by staying at home it does not give the office/work or yourself permission to dip in and out of work mode. You are off! Be strict on this, you will thank yourself for it!

Family and friends

Navigating family and friends during the summer can require management. Be realistic with yourself, if tensions are normally strained or hard work, adding in sun and socialising may not make them any better. Manage your expectations and you can lessen or avoid disappointment or other big emotions. There is much more socialising and get-togethers during the summer and regardless of whether you are a social butterfly or not, energy levels can get drained so it’s important to mind yourself, know when your social battery is running low and give yourself permission to say no to things or leave when you want, not when you think you should! Enjoy it for what it is but also know when things become a drain. Striving for perfection can be difficult.
Your expectations may need to be realistic or altered in order to manage your feelings if things don’t go as expected. Things can go wrong with the best-laid plans so being compassionate with yourself and allowing yourself flexibility might mean you are able to manage any anxiety that does arise in a healthier way.
It might rain, the flight might be delayed, the family day out might end in an argument but ask yourself how you can manage the real-life lack of perfection stuff in a way that doesn’t take more energy than it needs to. How can you manage the situation, use your resilience tools with self-awareness and get yourself back on track to make the most of whatever enjoyment is actually there for the taking.

Children

It would be wrong not to mention summer holidays without adding children into the mix to test the stress levels or increase the enjoyment, however, you choose to look at it!! (Would you know I am a mum of 3!!!)
Let’s look at the practical side first. Childcare. Getting little bodies ready to go somewhere while you work when they can’t understand the concept of “it’s my school holidays why can’t I stay at home” isn’t easy so allow yourself plenty of time.
Rushed parents are more likely to feel anxious, angry and then guilty, a domino effect that no one deserves so speaking as a mum and a counsellor I feel a lot more in control if I allow myself enough time (wherever I am going). If you add in an extra 10 minutes for yourself before anyone gets up you now have ticked the self-care box on the never ending “to do” list, which incidentally should always remain top of your list and top priority!

A very joyous time

This article is not designed to highlight only the negatives of summer, it can be a very joyous time with many precious memories but I want anyone reading this that relates to anything I have mentioned to feel that they are not alone in anxiety, stress or worry, this is very important.
I want people to see that it’s ok to not have the absolute perfect summer and that those amazing photos on social media don’t always show the full picture. No one should feel alone in the journey around mental health or real-life stuff, it’s important to share and to be heard. It’s also important to know that situations and reactions to situations can be changed to produce a better outcome for you and your mental health.
There can be good in very difficult or not-so-perfect situations in life and you deserve to find that awareness and compassion within to get the most out of not just your summer but your days, weeks and years ahead!
All good wishes. Tracy x