It Occurs To Me: What time does the right ‘rise’?

We’re constantly hearing about the ‘rise’ of the far right in Ireland. Funny how most of the ne’er do wells probably don’t ‘rise’ until midday before unwrapping their flags and spewing their vitriol on people who are different. 

During the very worst of The Troubles, a seasoned old journalist said to me that in his experience, the opportunities for many psychos to wrap a flag around them, and kill and maim with impunity, were many. 

The Shankill Butcher and Freddy Scapaticci come to mind. Had they not suddenly had a ‘cause’, they would have been ignored and left to sulk in their beds. That is what is happening in Ireland currently, and whilst acknowledging the genuine anxieties many people have about migration, the looney tunes and scumbags have taken over the asylum. As usual, the middle ground is being squeezed, that middle being people who, despite having sincere concerns, are content to express frustration through the ballot box. 

Last Thursday in the Guildhall in Derry, to mark the beginning of the jazz festival, we had a heartfelt tribute to a wonderful clarinettist and showband legend, Johnny Quigley. Over the years at the festival, I had the pleasure of introducing Johnny, his son Joe, cousin George Hasson, Gay and Paul McIntyre etc. Sadly, he passed away in his 90th year in late 2023. I was delighted to meet and introduce the outgoing mayor, Patricia Logue, who has a few weeks left in her tenure, and will be succeded by the new Derry and Strabane mayor, Cllr Lilian Seenoi Barr, Northern Ireland's first Black mayor. 

Sadly, no sooner had she been elected, the online abuse kicked in and to compound matters, one of the most reprehensible US racists got in on the act. 

Writing in a couple of posts on social media website X, formerly Twitter, Alex Jones — who was previously banned from the website for abusive behaviour before his account was restored by Elon Musk in December — said: “The WEF (World Economic Forum) is now installing invaders as mayors in Ireland just like in London.” 

His comments were posted alongside a screenshot of a BBC News NI article of Ms Seenoi-Barrr’s selection as mayor. This is the same tooramaran who claimed the The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 which saw 28 people, including children as young as six-years-old, killed, as a hoax.

Jones has previously accused the family members of the victims of being actors in the hoax and suggested their children were still alive. He also claimed that the September 11 attacks were an inside job, that Covid vaccines causes autism and that the US Government was placing chemicals in drinking water which would turn people — and frogs — gay. He also claimed former presidential candidate and secretary of state Hillary Clinton was behind a child sex trafficking ring being run in a pizza restaurant in Washington in a false theory known as ‘Pizzagate’. Yet, he has 2.3 million followers! 

The new Derry and Strabane mayor, Cllr Lilian Seenoi Barr, Northern Ireland's first Black mayor

“My family is the one that is feeling it more than myself, I’m used to it,” Ms Seenoi-Barr told the BBC NI’s Sunday Politics programme. 

“The death threats have been extremely hurtful to my family and to myself too, but I’m more focused on the positives. I have had enormous support across the island – community organisations, politicians who have reached out and stood in solidarity. That is the Derry I know, the Ireland I know, and that’s what I want to focus on.”

A very wise man once advised me that the best way to judge people was to imagine how they might be as your neighbour. Lillian Seenoi-Barr would be a lovely next door addition…Buck Eejit Jones would be a nightmare.  As they say in Derry, you’d never get tired slappin’ him!

                                           Jacob Rees-Smug

There are many reprehensible Tories (fast disappearing, thanks to the recent council elections) but Jacob Rees-Smug must be near the top of a crowded greasy pole. Last week, he rubbed Irish noses in it by saying the following: “The Rwanda plan is working. Since the Royal Assent of the Safety of Rwanda bill last week, Ireland has seen an increase in migrants crossing its border escaping from the risk of deportation to Rwanda…What this news really presents is a golden opportunity; an opportunity to send all of the illegal migrants in the UK to facilities near the Irish border. If it just so happens that they then end up crossing the border, which according to the Belfast agreement, must remain open and indeed, our departure from the European Union agreement, so be it.”

Then, to compound his condescending, patronising tone he added: “There will be no migrants coming to the UK from Ireland and there's no need to stop them going there. Perhaps a maverick viewer may want to set up a charity to help pay the transport costs of illegal migrants who have got in over the channel, to send them to southern Ireland. I believe it is a very pleasant place to be at this time of year.” Wouldn’t you love to grab him by his double-breasted jacket and re-adjust his Windsor knot?

Staying with mad Tories, if you want a good laugh, may I recommend Liz Truss’s autobiography, Ten Years to Save the West. She should have named it Seven Weeks to Make a Balls. Anyone who says without any trace of irony, “Despite now being one of the most photographed people in the country, I had to organise my own hair and makeup appointments,” was destined for humiliation. When the queen dies, she cracks up (not out of grief) and utters the immortal whinge: “In a state of shock, I found myself thinking: Why me? Why now?” How inconsiderate of poor Elizabeth to pass away while the other Liz tries desperately to get through to her beautician. According to the shortest lived PM on record, her pay was sh…e and her living quarters at No 10 would not “be rated well on Airbnb”, and was “infested with fleas”, thanks to Boris Johnson’s dog! More moans about the chimes of the clock on Horse Guards keeping her awake at night…I wonder did they go Tik Tok? 

Compared to Rees-Smug, Trussy pants is genuinely, if unintentionally, funny. Compared to most of us, they’re both ‘bun as cionn’.

                                            Rocket Man?

Whatever about the lunatic fringe to the east of us, the one on the West - notwithstanding court cases - may well be the next US president. Back in 2018, in a rally in Montana, he was whinging that people were saying he wasn’t a great public speaker. He ranted: “I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really, we do it without, like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical – the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? The brain. More important than the mouth is the brain. The brain is much more important.”

Yes, Donald, we agree…the brain is much more important than the mouth. I can see you in the big bubble bath in Mar-a-Lago singing your favourite Elton songs:

“You know I'm still standin' better than I ever did

Lookin' like a true survivor, feelin' like a little kid”

And of course:

“I'm a rocket man

Rocket Man burnin' out his fuse up here alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no, no, no

I'm a rocket man

Rocket Man burnin' out his fuse up here alone.”